Brian Burke and the Media Orgy In Toronto: STFU

Quick post because it's way past my bed time. Seriously, I'm not accountable for this unpolished rant. Enjoy...

How many times have you heard some surly, unmotivated journo describe sports executives as the 'men behind the scenes'? What happens to an organization where these men step out from behind the curtain and assume center stage? Bobby Clark told the TSN audience tonight that it's big trouble for the organizational chemistry, I think its a storyline that's nauseating.

You can probably infer I'm talking about Brian Burke, the Toronto Maple Leafs and the decisions being made by television producers, newspaper editors and anyone with a pulse also in the sports-related media.

They have all gone too far. I'm about as interested in Brian Burke's personal life as I am in knowing the taste of my own feces. Information pertaining to his dietary standards, familial relationships inclusive to both wives and sets of children and his Thanksgiving plans have no place in a sports broadcast. You are there to analyze the game, talk smack about the fight of the night and solo-effort game winners, please save your tabloid commentary for Sunday Tea.

I recognize that MacKenzie, Dreger, Kipreos, Cox, Shoalts and Simmons all want to be Brian Burke. Others pretend to hate him, but incessantly pollute their programming with Brian Burke banter. They've assessed and diagnosed, investigated and proclaimed, marginalized and condemned everything from drafting the Sedins to the piece of lint floating on the surface of his spittoon (which contains Straight Skoal, because that's what badass lawyers from Harvard chew).

The opportunity to run the biggest franchise in its sports is a monumental event, and I'm glad the media has capitalized on this. However, appealing to the lower common denominator with CCN-like saturation of an unfounded and speculative nature is shitty journalism and it's bad programming. Step your game up.

The NHL Franchise Fire Sale of 2008.

There is no secret that people are losing a lot of money in the US right now. Consider that alongside the state of several conceivably insolvent NHL franchises. Phoenix, Tampa and Atlanta are barely scraping by at the best of times -- there screwed now that people aren't spending their money.

What about franchises in regions that have been hit hard with foreclosures? There are two teams in California, notwithstanding the surrounding areas of Detroit or Florida where corporate dollars are scarce and the fan base is frugal. Its a tough way to run a franchise and they talked about the pressure of the economic on the Fan 590 today (credit to McCown, Brunt and Kypreos) when the trio threw out the figure of 8 or 9 franchises which could be for sale courtesy of cash-deprived owners looking down the barrel of a creditors gun.

Awesome. There is nothing better for hockey than leaving poor sunbelt cities. Full Stop. Contraction and subsequent re-location would be a legacy event: some suit in on the NHL board of governors would get a plaque in the Hockey Hall of Fame uprooting these failing teams and sending them over the pacific.

Hockey in Europe

Their economy is shaky as well but the NHL in Europe should be made to work. If the NHL was really smart, they would institute relegation in a fashion modeled after the European Premier Leagues. It's crazy and bold, but it will work if crafted appropriately.

7 Habits of Highly Effective NHL Forecasting: Part IV

To open the Western Conference, I honour the champions from last season: The CENTRAL DIVISION. ---------------------------------


Detroit Red Wings:
What is there to say? They have been lauded endlessly since destroying the Pittsburgh Penguins in the Stanley Cup final, lost no one of significance and gained Marion Hossa: they took a great thing and made it better (like undressing the Mona Lisa, or loading beer and strippers onto Noahs Ark). The only reasonable assumption is that they will be on par with their achievements last year -- a championship standard that is difficult to live up to. With a target squarely on their already-battled-worn backs I would not be surprised to see the injury bug sweep through the team. The subjective nature of that aside, Zetterberg, Datsuk, Hossa, Holmstrom, Frazen, Lidstrom, Rafalski and insert All Star here will make others look stupid on-the-regular throughout the season and well into the playoffs. Repeat? Ask me when they get to the dance.

2008 Record: 54-21-7, 1st Central
'09 Projection: 49-25-8, 1st Central

Chicago Blackhawks:
-- are the sweet heart team in the Western Conference this year. Look for them to sweep hockey fans off of their feet (straight onto the band wagon) much the same way Washington did last season, minus the AO-like dominance from their young snipers. Kane, Toews and Sharp carried the offense last year on a Blackhawks team that missed the playoffs by a slim margin (which may be accounted for by exuberant rookies playing too hungover on the road, something veteran piss-tank Robert Lang surely advised them on in the off-season). They added free-agent Brian Campbell to an already stacked offensively-adept blue line (Keith, Seabrook). Apparently trending upwards and due for a playoff appearance there remains some problems capable of grounding their expectations: Will Pat Sharp back up his shockingly productive season of '08 similarly in '09? How will they get rid of Knabiboulin and his 6.75mil contract so that newly-signed free-agent Christobal Huet can call the team his own? Whether or not they materialize into a threat this season is debatable, but their future is very positive as indicated by the willingness of Scotty Bowman to leave Detriot for Chi Town. This is a playoff team, but they need to iron out a few things before they can win it all.

2008 Record: 40-34-8, 2nd Central
'09 Projection: 42-30-10, 2nd Central


Nashville Predators
-- should prepare themselves to be usurped by Chicago as the 2nd-best team in the Detriot-dominated division. While they're at it, might as well err on the side of caution and be ready for numerous Western conference teams to fly past them having made zero notable moves in the off-season. Naturally I know headlines are not correlated to performance, but an offense with the punch of a Jaleel White circa 1995 is. With 2/3's of their second line doubtful (Alex Radulov set to play in Russia, Steve Sullivan's back doesn't work anymore) the Pred's need Arnott, Dumont, Erat and Legwand to produce over what most reasonable prognosticators will expect. Their saving grace will be their strong defense (Suter, Hamhuis, Weber) which will regrettably be without offensively-gifted Martin Zidlicky (gone to Minnesota). In support of their admirable cast of blue-liners is emerging goaltending star Dan Ellis (fantasy alert?). He was stellar during both the regular season (23-10-3, 6SO, 2.34GAA, .924%) and the playoffs (.938% over 6 games). Should he continue to demonstrate this type of consistency and reliability Nashville will be sniffing around the bottom of the playoff rankings in lieu of spiralling down the shit can.

2008 Record: 41-32-9, 2nd Central
'09 Projection: 39-34-9 3rd Central


Columbus Blue Jackets
-- are not only competing for their first-ever playoff appearance in '09, but are also in contention for the most numerous roster changes. They finally said goodbye to frustrating forward Nik Zherdev (who as an aside is still held in high regard by Doug MacLean. It's hard for your draft picks to live up to Gretzky when they play like Valari Bure, Dougie. Welcome to radio). Also wearing other threads are Hainsey, Brule and Dan Fritsche all of whom will contribute on their new clubs, albeit to varying degrees with Hainsey purportedly the most promising for the otherwise burning-tires-and-skunks-awful Atlanta Thrashers. Their top line is respectable (Nash - Umberger - Huselius), but everything between them and goaltender Pascal Leclaire is unimpressive. With Raffi Torres on the second line, Mike Commodore playing top 2 minutes its looks like the Battle of Fallen Timbers all over again.

2008 Record: 34-36-12, 4th Central
'09 Projection: 36-34-12, 4th Central


St. Louis Blues
-- John Davidson is viewed as a miracle worker by some given the resurgence of the team during his tenure (est. June 2006). However, their on-ice successes have much more to do with the brilliance of Brad Boyes and his 43-gino career-year. His partner-in-crime is sneaky point-producer Andy MacDonald who shares his habit of making plays and setting up tap-ins with their aging linemate (Paul 'if only prime wasn't so far away' Kariya). This will be another rung up the rebuilding latter for the hockey team in Mizzou, so we might get to see a lot of promising young talent, but only for 82 games or less.

2008 Record: 33-36-13, 5th Central
'09 Projection: 35-35-12, 5th Central

7 Habits of Highly Effective NHL Forecasting: Part II

Part II of VI in the on-going NHL 2008-2009 season predictions. For Part I, click here. If this image at-all resembles Kovalevs' season this year, the Habs are in trouble. --------------------------------------------------

Northeast Division
There exists some formidable competition in this division, which could match the 3 playoff teams it generated last year. Find out whats good with the Leafs, Habs, Bruins, Sabres and Sens below.

Boston Bruins
-- A long shot for the Cup, this years Bruins squad is nonetheless trending upwards after putting a legitimate scare into the heavily-favoured Habs this past post-season. Their offensive forwards are young and skilled (Savard, Lucic, Kessel) and have some new tools to work (free agent signing, Michael Ryder, who will get a chance to replace Glen Murray on the top line). Returning from injury after getting shameless obliterated from behind is a fully-recovered Patrice Bergeron who's presence will aid the drowsy offense under Claude Guillien. Defensively Zdeno Chara will continue to be the most under-rated defensman in the league (+102 in his last 6 seasons and managed a career high 51pts last year) alongside newly re-signed Denis Wideman (who shockingly averaged 25:09mins per game last year). Another notable something-for-nothing is goaltender Manny Fernandez. I know we all the the quirky aggressiveness and agility of Tim Thomas, but does anyone think he can win a Stanley Cup? I don't and Manny Fernandez is Bostons solution; he thrived in the similarly uber-defensive system in Minni, but has been unremarkable during his tenure in Boston. All things considered the success of the '09 Bruins is reduced to one question: Can the team-defense concept forcibly nullify the inconsistency of a youthful offense and uncertain goal keeping? Probably not.

2008 Record: 41-29-12, 3rd Northeast
09 Projection: 40-27-13, 3rd Northeast

Montreal Canadians
-- Going into last season the Habs were treated with absolutely no respect. They were too young, had too many vets along for the ride and a lack of grit. They proved everyone wrong and excelled to the top seed in the East, thanks largely to major contributions from the Kostitsyn Brother and career-years from two defenseman, Mark Streit (who chased the free-agent money offered from the dreadful NY Islanders) and Andrei Markov, who Montreal brass hopes will uphold the standard set. They are stacked in goal with Price, Halak and Denis, the former two being the likely 1-2 respectively, but not without significant controversy in broadsheets of La Belle Province. Losing Streit will dent the previously impenetrable power play that supplied more offense for their club than any other last year, whereas the another year of maturity should improve their even-strength play. The Stanley Cups odds are very generous for a team that over-achieved last year, but I feel their chances to take the division are justifiably high.

2008 Record: 47-25-10, 1st Northeast
09 Projection: 44-27-11, 1st Northeast

Ottawa Senators
-- Two lackluster off-seasons have followed their run to the 2007 Cup Final meaning Ottawa enters the 08-09 campaign with the same unimpressive group that turned the best start in the NHL into Chernobyl. The exit of aging liabilities up front (Corey Stillman and Martin Lapointe) and at the rear (Redden and Commadore; contract pending for RFA Mezaros) has done little to boost my expectations of this team. These departures were countered by signing down-trending warrior Jason Smith, and gritty pest Jarko Ruutu. These two should improve the club defensively, much the same way buying out Ray Emery will boost their internal prospectus. However, if you think the aforementioned Ray Emery was the sole proprietor of their dressing-room dysfunction you probably rode the short bus to grade school. Complacency and stagnation has messed with the confidence levels of a team who has demonstrated its fragile make up regularly. With a new coach behind the bench (Craig Hartsburg) I anticipate tension and infighting to continue, problems that can be buoyed by their talent level which is admittedly upper-class. The likelihood of a playoff birth is high, but I feel the stars need to align for them to get out of the East. Oh, and is anyone convinced about Martin Gerber now that Emery is gone?

2008 Record: 43-31-8, 2nd Northeast
09 Projection: 42-27-11, 2nd Northeast

Toronto Maple Leafs
-- Leafs Nation is prepared for a well-overdue rebuilding program, but didn't anticipate doing so under the guidance of GM Cliff Fletcher. Having botched their last 40 seasons on-ice, the Leafs have unsurprisingly fumbled the GM search and delayed the maturation of the new vision. They will finish last in this division, receive less HNIC coverage and still make more money than the entire South East division combined: most Torontonians also rode the short bus, by the way. New coach Ron Wilson, and his increasing frustration with the media bombardment will provide the majority of the entertainment from this years abysmal squad (unless you are inexplicable fond of Joe Bowen and Harry Neale).

2008 Record: 36-35-11, 5th Northeast
09 Projection: 32-37-13, 5th Northeast

Buffalo Sabres
-- All indications suggest a Groundhog Day-like 08-09 for the blue-collar Sabres. Narrowly missing the playoffs last season left a bad taste in the mouth of Buffalo fans who have watched three All Stars leave town in a period on one-half season (Briere, Drury and subsequently Brian Campbell). That the challenging Buffalo market has impedes the Sabres annually surprises no one, however locking up their franchise goaltender (Ryan Miller) and signing a steady veteran D (Craig Rivet) may breed some optimism among their youthful core (Pominville, Roy, Hecht, Gaustad, Paille). This brief gaiety notwithstanding, I expect the Sabres to struggle mightily until they get an explosive offensive contributor (/huge annoying cough: Tomas freaking Vanek). Having dealt their return for Campbell (Bernier; to Vancouver) the message is clear: we need picks because this team isn't ready to win. They might surprise beyond in 2010 and beyond, but until then...

2008 Record: 39-31-12, 4th Northeast
09 Projection: 37-36-9, 4th Northeast

Thanks for reading. Be sure to check out the future installments in a few days. Cheers, Derek.

NHL Futures, HNIC Song and Wild 3-Way's.

I've screwed the pooch like it was paying my bills of late, so I figured writing something -- regardless of the quality -- would be an invaluable exercise in blog-preservation. This time of year leaves many of my ilk jonesing for topics that don't include guys with initials B.F., the Yankees or Red Sox. So at the risk of owning a shitty and unkempt weblog, I'll rip one off for what feels like old time sake.

How about off-season NHL stuff? There is a rumor courtesy of the Ottawa Sun that is sure to keep the "ink-stained wretches" busy hacking away greedily. Since Ottawas' balance sheet has listed Gerber as a liability for nearly his full tenure with the team, it's not surprising they are looking to dump the underwhelming and inconsistent 'tender. However offering Andrej Meszaros to sweeten the pot gives the Sens a package that someone will inevitably see value in, which explains the willingness of the other two teams to get involved.

For the Kings to move Kopitar would take an exceedingly generous offer in the eyes of most, which is why this rumor draws skepticism. Is their value in moving their best young point-producer? Sure, but the return better include more than Gerber and Meszaros. Kopitar is a game-changer, an asset immeasurably valuable by traditional quantification. The aforementioned Sens are but cogs in the wheel of a solid, balanced NHL club, something that LA desperately needs after losing out on both Rob Blake (Sharks), and Brad Stuart (Wings). The previously-coachless Kings have significantly re-tooled in the off-season and appear poised to elevate themselves in the challenging Western conference. With their back to the wall, they seem willing to sacrifice some flash for functionality, a move that will doubtlessly frustrate Kings fans.

Remember the uproar when the Hockey Night in Canada theme song changed hands? I poo-pooed the loss then and have mounting evidence in favor of its insignificance. The song is associated with the game, not with a network or a program (which implicitly concedes that CBC may have lost out). The new HNIC song will have no bearing on viewership of CBC hockey broadcasts. Their relatively poor play-by-play, below-average camera angles and PJ Stock on the other hand will. TSN has been chipping away at CBC's lead in the quality standard department for some time, hence attention is due in areas vastly more significant than their anthem contest.

NHL Futures are up and everyone already knows the favourite. I see value in the Bruins, Blackhawks, Capitals and Flyers. Long shot on Columbus or St. Louis if you feel like gambling. Safe plays: New York Rangers v. Detroit Red Wings for Lord Stanley. Man up and post your call in the comment section: I dare you.

Thanks for reading and subscribe for the win, Cheers, Derek.

Best-Ever Tennis, Russian Cheerleaders and Brett Favre v. Mats Sundin

Sometimes its the little things in life that matter. Russian cheerleaders for example will bring a smile to your face. And when they happen to be brought to your attention on the same day as the greatest tennis match of all time, everything is coming up Milhouse.

Except if you're Brett Favre, who is more than obnoxious with his persistent desire to be important. We all may make decisions in life we regret, it is unfortunate in this instance that the very conundrum facing Favre is most frequently one which ends disastrously. Few things are as sure-to-disappoint as Pacman Jones or a new Will Ferrell movie, but a pro athlete set to come out of retirement rivals our most of epic letdowns. The numbers are not in Favres' favour if the Vikings think he'll be their saviour, and I think we'd all prefer if kept his musings to a simmer and made decisions behind closed doors like a grown up.

I am confident my neighbors in the US would rather watch the clinical removal of a hangnail than another sports-news clip featuring Brett Favre rumours. As a small consolation you can take solace knowing we have endured parallel suffrage in Toronto and -- although to a slightly lesser degree -- Canada. Mats Sundin is as enigmatic and annoying as the Old Boy Favre, but notably every bit as talented and potentially valuable. He's got offers from nearly a third of the league to join their club, with the Vancouver Canucks deeming a debatable top-15 player worthy of the largest contract in the league. He's not worth all that bread, but at the risk of wasting one of the best goalies in recent memory Vancouver is desperate to put a winning club in front of Roberto Luongo.

On a rather gossipy note, Kevin Lowe dropped a bomb on Brian Burke recently and I am thrilled. The saga is well documented. Who isn't interesting isn't piqued by the successive manifestations of two executives clashing through public channels? It is truly better than fiction. In The Ego and the Id (1923), Freud said, "...the ego uses borrowed forces" which fittingly meanders us to the root cause of this quarrel: Lowe broke the a gentleman's agreement in the NHL (by soliciting a restricted free agent on Burkes' team to a very generous offer sheet) effectively nailing the stones of the Ducks GM to the wall. Slighted and betrayed, Burke pushed back and the carousel thankfully continues. Sadly, their interpersonal spat doesn't go near the real problem: salary inflation in the NHL will eventually force the league into contraction (a tactic I've long been in support.) Much of what Burke preaches has merit, but the message is often muddled by his palpable infatuation with his own grandeur. This tabloid-like feud has guised the legitimate problems like salary inflation and the nature of RFA offer sheets (which do skew the market undesirably for the league and owners). Look forwards to more on this later, as it deserves it own piece.

Thanks for reading and support the site. Check out the Cloud9 Radio show tomorrow (Tues. Listen Live here) 6-9pm and subscribe to show some love. Cheers, Derek.

Global Game, Global Coin: Foreign Investors in English Footy

There is an epidemic in the United Kingdom. It's not black death or skinheads, but foreign ownership of English Football clubs. Before you close this tab... hear me out.

On the heels of rumors out of Toronto that Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment (owners and proprietors of all the major sports franchises in Toronto) is searching for a team to buy within the English football realm, I've become vexed by the demand for this particular asset class. You have to consider that painfully rich men are so because they know how to manage their money, hence their investments are typically sound. But is the driving force behind this phenomena purely economical or for sport? What happens to teams that fall under foreign ownership and what has brought about this superficially-peculiar trend?

As it turns out, the answer to why was sowed by the seeds of early English ideals: prosperous business endeavors fostered through free markets and product distribution. Specifically, the English Football Association decided in 1992 to allow capitalism to dictate their operations resulting in the sale of television rights to a satellite service for distribution. Viewed as sell outs by other European nations who initially turned their back on the opportunity, they're now faced with the collateral damage brought about by those decisions: the demand for capital and foreign ownership.

The ownership docket is stocked with grossly wealthy foreigners. In addition to the Canadian interest expressed above, add Dubai International capital to the list of those in search of a franchise. Additionally, more successful parties have already landed several notable franchises, namely: Chelsea (Russian oligarch Roman Abramovich), Liverpool (Americans Tom Hicks and George Gillet), and Manchester United (US tycoon Malcolm Glazer). We can be assured their interest in the game took a back seat to their investment concerns, but how do those with genuine fanatical interest in the beautiful game take to the invasion? For some insight, lets bring this scenario closer to home.

Imagine the riots in Indianapolis if Yang Huiyan purchased the Colts? You couldn't swing a dead cat in and around the Lucas Oil Stadium without hitting a Colts fan seething with outrage. Cries of, “why don't they stick to table tennis!” are echoed loudly, with others screaming, “...all the Chinese know is humping, Communism and dog eating! Leave the NFL alone!” The day the headline brakes every Chinese restaurant in the state of Indiana will be surrounded by angry, blood lusting crowds – a reaction this side of the pond might even deem rational (Ok, maybe just the Americans.)

Or maybe Canada too. What if the Montreal Canadians were purchased by Mukesh Ambani? You could bet your ass the province of Quebec wouldn't lie down quietly. They'd rightly fail to see the merits in allowing a cricket-loving billionaire the rights to control their franchise. And finally we've arrived at the krux of the issue -- clearly the owners money is good, but are their intentions?

Some owners make a habit of menacing with their teams day-to-day affairs: Al Davis and Jerry Jones come to mind (thankfully for Cowboys fans to differing results). Foreign ownership has the potential to put your organization on shaky ground if the person with the controlling interests has no prior knowledge of the sport, something these English teams seemed to overlook. Fortunately however, these wealthy owners know the value of winning. Even those rich enough to afford to lose millions would never tolerate it if things could be changed, which brings us full circle: allowing foreigners to invest and/or purchase franchises serves as a brilliantly orchestrated security blanket for organizations looking to secure future success.

When the new ownership plunks down a sizable chunk of their fortune, they do so with the intention of using the professional sports franchise as a vehicle to grow said fortune. Thus, winning as a model for growth, brand loyalty and positive return on investment becomes paramount to the guys who sign the cheques. Does this win-to-profit ideology suss out?

Yea. Chelsea just finished second in all of Europe, losing to Manchester United. Liverpool won the UEFA Champions League in 2005, won the FA Cup in 2006, and finished as runner-up in the UEFA Final of 2007. This success has ensured spots on the top 10 revenue-producing clubs in the world for Manchester United (4th) and Liverpool (10^th) with Chelsea undoubtedly nipping on their heels. Finally, we've found the reason for the lack of outrage from the English: winning cures all ails.

Oprah tells NHL: Hire good people, be successful like me.

Oprah is a ludicrously successful person, but she didn't say that about hockey. /shock/ I think she might know it exists though. Regardless, this is how your NHL team can find success just like O.

This is an interesting time of the year for the NHL in which something incalculably vital to organizational success is going on under the guise of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. This determinant of success is in reference to the host of managerial and coaching contracts being discussed and subsequently signed over the last few weeks.

The invaluable role that coaches and managers play in team success can too easily be overlooked. These types of decisions which influence your on-ice product so tangibly are becoming of increasing importance in an NHL rich with parity. Your teams' path is laid for the future through the executive restructuring ongoing throughout the Spring months currently upon us. How important are the decisions your team is making right now? Very.

In any walk of like, often people of superior talent and intelligence rise to the top – this is why the smartest guys on Wall St. are hedge fund managers, why infomercials feature the same people repeatedly, and of course, why Crosby, Zetterberg, Malkin and Datsuk are so much better than their peers (but, thats another topic altogether). This excruciating analogy speak to the collective desperation in which teams – from all sports leagues -- explore the Saharan pool of available world-class management.

Naturally, the off-season is a happy place where teams dream of a bright future often overlooking the 50% chance they have of finishing in bottom half of the standings. The rampant delusions around this time of year lends itself to the symbiotic shuffling of management and coaching. So you pull the plug on the old hack(s) and bring in the new miracle worker. Funny thing about that though....

There aren't many miracle makers in the business of orchestrating winning sports franchises. All the guys old enough to recall a legacy worth remembering are dating themselves back to the Battle of Queenston Heights (alright, maybe just back to hippies). My point remains: the value of good management is priceless.

Take a quick look over the dog-and-pony show that is the Maple Leafs GM search and you'll have to look no further. The media has obsessed endlessly because it so important to them! Just picture Trader Cliff on the blood pressure monitor 24/7 as he endlessly searches for an adequate solution. Other teams has since resolved their vacancies however, with Dallas, Colorado and Vancouver all putting the pieces in place recently in preparation for the draft.

The Stars locked up the incumbent Brett Hull and Les Jackson by ceremoniously removing their Interm tag, Colorado decided to go back to Tony Granato (who was the bench general from 2002-04), and Vancouver told coach Alain Vigneault that he can wait another year to be a lame duck. (I guess Van City GM Mike Gillis is the old ball breaker hes made out to be.)

Lest we forget the lengths that people and organizations go to in an effort to retain good talent. Several have gone so far as to deny the right to negotiate with an individual under contract (even if, contrary to the customary practice, that job was a promotion).

This is a ruthless business where cash-cow markets can take advantage of their dough simply because there are no salary limitations within the managerial ranks. It encourages the thought: Why are managers and coaches making Darren McCarty-type money, when sane rationality dictates they should be living like Crosby? Eventually, it will come to this, or market principles tell us it should. There will be a great deal of resistance from some owners, but over the course of time their dollar will get stretched by fielding poor teams manifest through poor decision-making executives. In time, it will force these owners to make it rain on someone capable of winning.

How can one deem a GM capable of delivering victories? I'm a strong believer in established team identity as a predictive measure of success (in all sports). Managing means developing this identity and exemplifying it on the ice with the players of the ilk required. It's like seasoning the perfect bone-in Rib Eye streak, or playing jenga – its all about balance and timing. Its about managing the right ingredients to fit the mold you deem most likely to produce championships. But, its not easy...

This is evident around this time of year when we see and hear all of the organizational restructuring (as the GM-types might say it) around the league. It reminds you how exposed and vulnerable they are in a position that always demands success – not merely from the fraternity of their peers, but the ravaging fanatics who pay their salary with ever ticket. Being a GM or a coach is all about risk-reward: thankfully for them, those who succeed are being increasingly compensated for their work. This is a trend, unlike the men themselves, with a termination date far out of sight.

Embracing the Human Element in Officiating

It's just too easy to rip sporting officials sometimes. We've always been taught otherwise, but when you're right your right, and when you're wrong... you're allowing goals to pass through the side of the net.

In yesterdays IIHF World Championship contest between Finland and the US, the latter finagled their way back into the game with a slippery snipe that clearly went through the side of the net. A queer feeling gripped the arena promoting the on-ice ref's to confer the with officials upstairs in hopes their use of video review could indefinitely solve the dilemma. So does the puck go through the side of the net? (Here is the video with added value in form of dirty Finnish commentary).

It could be the work of match-rigging henchmen, pure accidental negligence, or another case of the Newfies in the video review booth getting too ripped to decipher the coded message that you just watched – stranger (alcohol-related) things have happened in Halifax, trust me. Whatever the explanation, the result was an unprecedented blunder which allowed the Finnish squad to squeak out a 3-2 win.

We accept that humans are prone to error because we experience these mishaps daily. We've been in fender benders, mis-pronounced peoples names, or gotten poop on our hands during a rushed, errant wipe. Shit happens, indeed. And lighting can strike twice...

Case in Point. This image was taken during the first period of Game 2, when Sidney Crosby was hacking away at a lose puck at the side of the net. The end-result is clearly displayed – but the humans responsible for the outcome of this event once again made a mistake. Following a lengthy review, the inconclusive visual confirmation took a goal away from the Pittsburgh Penguins.

What is most frustrating is not the mistake itself, but the dogmatic adherence to a rule that offers no flexibility. Sports organizations and the NHL always pride itself on the quality of their officials and support any instances of bad officiating with the classic “we embrace the human element” mantra. Where the hell was the human element lastnight? Watching the replay determines pretty clearly that the puck crossed the goal line, as its momentum continued once Marty Biron smothered it with his glove (obstructing the visual proof of the puck crossing the line). In lieu of making the appropriate assessment, the NHL chose loyalty to a fault and threw the rule book at Michel Therrien and the Pens. No Goal!

Poll coaches, players and general managers on the most important quality of officials and they would overwhelming respond: consistency. Good, bad or otherwise, just be consistent so we (the players) know the guidelines. Embracing the human element whenever possible and these events become easily avoidable.

This unfortunate example caught the league talking out of both sides of their mouth, a phenomena of which the fans have grown tired. Are we in for the human element or not? I support intelligent people passing reasonable judgments – which why if you hire the right people for the job, these problems disappear. This applied to the Zamboni drivers, video review judges and beyond – up to the suits in New York and Mr. Bettman for his lack of confidence in the people who work for him. Pick a philosophy and follow it to the end, just ensure they don't cross paths during another NHL playoff semi-final or World Championship Game.

Weekly Wed. All-NHL Podcast #13

The Conference Finals start tomorrow, and here is everything you need to know in easy-listening form. [Runs 21mins.]

Topics:

• The Dumpster Fire Report: Leafs fire lame duck coach. So what???
• From the Crapper to the Cup? Can Philly take down the Penguins in the East Conf. Final?
• Detty Does Dallas? Either way, the battle between the Stars and the Wings will result in somebody getting screwed.
  

Enjoy and Thank you for Listening! -- Cheers, Derek.

How to Fix the Maple Leafs: Player-by-Player

So the task is obvious: rebuild. The methodology is – in stark contrast – very much up in the air. Until a permanent GM is in Toronto this raging debate about how to rebuild will incessantly be overheard. So in a light piece, enjoy how to repair the Maple Leafs one player at a time.

Going out from the net:

Starting Goaltender: Vesa Toskala (27-21-6, 3SO, .909SV%, 2.59GAA)
Has proven himself as a viable #1 on a poor defensive team. One of few Leafs that has played to their potential this year. The main issue with Toskala will be his tolerance for playing on a losing team next year, as goaltenders are not immune to flaking when presented with the opportunity.

Backup: Andrew Raycroft (2-8-4, 1SO, .868SV%, 4.07GAA)
Had one good year, continues to disappoint and has all but officially been cut. He needs to earn some starts in the AHL in order to become a tradeable commodity, otherwise he'll get cut, or bought out (or both just to make a point!).

Defensemen:

Tomas Kaberle (7g, 39p, -6)
Lose 15-pounds bag-skating. Force yourself to uphold a two-shot-per-period quota and welcome to elite status.

Brian McCabe (5g, 21p, +1)
Drop your no trade and take your shattered stock to Long Island.

Carlo Colaiacovo (2g, 4p, -3)
Say healthy. Really, just stay healthy and you'll be a solid defender on any 2^nd pairing in the NHL.

Pavel Kubina (6g, 28p, +2)
Drop 10lbs bag-skating with your Czech brother, Tomas. At NHLPA meeting kick Dion Phaneuf in the onions and remember the intensity with which he responds so you can incorporate it into you game.

Ian White (3g, 19p, -3)
As a puck mover, he is solid. Otherwise, his game leaves too much to be desired. In order to stay in the NHL White needs to get his +/- near the top of the team and be among team leaders in helpers, both sadly unforeseeable events.

Anton Stralman (4p, -11)
Unlike most of the Maple Leafs squad, the upside is that he actually has an upside. The Leafs are hoping he matures a little more Kaberle-ian and less Kubina-ian, which at 21 is not outside the realm of possibility.

Forwards:

Mats Sundin (31g, 75p, +14)
By far this years MVP. How to fix Mats? Magically make him 28 again.

Nik Antropov (26g, 52p, +8)
Is playing the best hockey he is capable of and might be enjoying the peak of his career. Keep it up, but watch his value drop if/when Mats retires.

Jason Blake (13g, 43p, -1)
Re-negotiate his contract or trade him. Skill players who don't produce are like wooden sticks – when something better comes along they are easily replaced.

Darcy Tucker (15g, 26p, -5)
Make him the key to the powerplay again to inflate his stats and justify his ludicrous contract. Since that won't happen, begrudgingly buy him out and sign a bigger, younger and faster grinder who can play the role the way it should be played.

Kyle Wellwood (6g, 16p, -10)
To be an undersized dangler, he needs to bolster his dangling. The size if fine, but hes no Scott Gomez or Danny Boyle. Get in the gym – it might be news to Wellwood, but weight training has been shown to help athletes perform better!

Matt Stajan (14g, 30p, -5)
Get the trainer to fit you with a flac jacket and learn how to play like Tomas Holmstrom, but with more speed through the middle.

Alexei Ponikarovsky (15g, 26p, +2)
Compete with Stajan to become the Leafs version of Tomas Holmstrom. The loser goes home and opens a car dealership.

Alex Steen (13g, 34p, +3)
What to do with a smart player who offers average hands and size? Steen is a prime example of a player being reward for his position in the draft. He is an interchangeable part of this team that could play on the first line and thrive, or kill penalties for the Marlies. His role needs to be defined and he needs to start making a difference, even if it means by giving up his roster spot.

Dominic Moore (4g, 12p, -5)
Confident puck-handler with good speed and hockey sense. Moore will likely be a good fit centering the 2^nd line with a capable scoring winger (see below).

Jiri Tlusty (5g, 10p, -10)
Drag Moore to the rink daily in the off-season and start watching tape of Datsuk and Zetterberg in Detriot. This is how undersized skill players produce points, so take notes and learn how to win battles and anticipate the play. As a 19yo he has time to mature into a valuable offensive contributor, lest he become another ineffectual Alex Steen.

These are the players worthy of an appearance on this list as the remaining players on the roster are notably less significant. As the course of the season plays out it will be interesting who will demonstrate their willingness to compete for a job, because once the the curtain falls the axe from the GM's office won't be far behind. Expect as many as half of these players to be purged from this horrendously average roster and hope, pray – whatever – that the Leafs can get lucky in the draft for years to come.

Why are the Maple Leafs still starting Vesa Toskala?

In the midst of a post-deadline mix-up that saw the Toronto Maple Leafs trade away three role players in an attempt to build for the future there seems to be a conflict of interest between the suits in the suites and boys behind the bench.

Prior to the aforementioned moves the Maple Leafs telegraphed their intentions to wipe the slate clean by replacing defunct John Ferguson Jr. with current interim GM Cliff Fletcher. This signaled the well overdue rebuilding process had initiated itself, and while the most significant trade deadline maneuvers were those that couldn't happen, Toronto punctuated its commitment towards short-term loss for long-term gain by picking up four future draft picks.

Their path to ascendancy is slowly being etched out from below the layers of incompetence, but is there some resistance remaining? It would seem so -- irrespective of the parallel commitment made by management, media and the fans -- given the contentious conduct of the coaching staff over the past two weeks. The agreement to rebuild was broadcast loud and clear, unfortunately for Toronto fans it appears to have been lost in translation when passed down to the coaching staff. What else would account for Paul Maurice's decision to continuously overwork starting goaltender Vesa Toskala in lieu of falling in line with his superiors?

Paul Maurice is not a stupid man. He recognizes the state of limbo which his employment lies. His leadership has been questioned and his methodology flawed based on his failure to maximize the below-average talent on his current roster. This all but punches his ticket to the unemployment line, if and when, his team fails to make the playoffs for the third season in succession.

"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat: "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."

Just like the famous feline from Lewis Carrolls' Alice's Adventures in Wonderland the last sentence of the above paragraph magically presents itself to answer the question that has puzzled many Leaf fans; the same question lends itself to the title of this piece: why is Toskala still starting in goal? Because it is the only way to save Paul Maurice's job – and potentially – his career.

Toskala is overworked having long eclipsed career highs in starts, minutes played and shots against, while defending the goal of a team that needs to win at least 75% of its remaining contests in order to realize their playoff intentions. Notably, of those remaining contests 16-of-17 are against teams with a superior record, making the task measurably more difficult and unlikely.

So in light of this seemingly incurable illness that has precipitously sunk the Leafs into the basement of the Eastern conference, Coach Paul Maurice has diagnosed more Vesa Toskala to benefit himself and his future as a head coach in the NHL, at the expense of the organization in Toronto. The sooner Maurice and the Maple Leafs correctly assess their potential the better, as it will open a window for Raycroft to start and potentially boost his trade value (while concomitantly improving their draft lottery status).

Maurice can argue that his distribution of playing time amongst his goaltenders is done merely out of necessity. However, it is through this very decision that his firing is thus equally necessitated. The rebuilding process is already slow and painful enough, and I begrudgingly urge Trader Cliff to hasten the process by dismissing Maurice and abolishing the deleterious conflict of interest that currently exists.