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Thursday, April 10, 2008

Only in Baseball – Weird Gems Exclusive to the Diamond

[I'm exhausted an have decided to mail this one in. My apologies, but I present to you the following for your entertainment.]

It's the plethora of idiosyncrasies that make baseball so wonderful. At the worst of times, this game can be at its finest and that isn't a trait shared by much. Here are just a few of the many odd-wacky-insane things you might see during a baseball game that are all worth the price of admission.

Charging the mound: Who doesn't love seeing a game of bean-ball turn into a bench clearing brawl. In a sport where they could easily kill a man in a fight, there are surprisingly few real fights in any of these altercations, but they are hilariously entertaining aren't they?

Chewing tobacco: because standing around is always better with nicotine. Rumor has it NBA players want in on this delicious luxury, but officials fear the spitting would compromise the playing surface. Shame.

Visible laziness: only in a game of patience and skill would they allow such poorly fit athletes to make millions of dollars. To each their own, but I think we can attribute this phenomena to the booze buffets in the clubhouse.

Excessive Arguing with Umpires: this is the most distinguishable tradition in baseball, and little is as entertaining and laughable. Grown men, face-to-face, screaming incessantly. The ground rules are simple: never insult the umpire directly, only the call, and keep the contact scant. Otherwise Managers have free reign to shout their liquor-fueled tirades across the diamond.

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